Monday, April 28, 2008

Inverse Relationship: Increasing Hat Size, Decreasing Worth

It's now official: there's an inverse relationship between ballers 'roiding out of their minds and the happy-go-lucky fans and speculators who gobbled up all of their merchandise.

In an article in the Sunday New York Times, values for memorabilia for players linked to PED's has declined. Noooo! Looks like I won't be able to retire to FL after all.

Growing up in FL, you chased Mark McGwire and all your other "heroes" looking for autographs. Collecting cards, subscribing to Becketts, charting the value of your collection, thinking one day that collection accumulating dust in the attic would be worth something. Not anymore, or like the current state of the housing market, a house is still worth something, just not as much as it was last year. Just like Bar-roid Bods rookie card is worth something, just not as much as it was pre 1998.

MLB, you did it again - ruining my plan to retire early to a nice life in the FL Keys...thanks for nothing, MLB.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Selig Laying the Hammer on the Execs...Not

Did you see the latest with Bud? He is really taking the Mitchell Report to heart and laying down the law...or doing absolutely nothing at all! According to the article in the Daily News, Selig is considering doing nothing to the team executives and personnel that allowed the roid era to ruin MLB as we know it.

Let's examine what his motives could be for not netting out any punishment except for some community service. Could it be...that he was an owner? Is hired and retained by the owners?

Having Peter Magowan, owner of the Giants lecture some middle school is not punishment, it's PR and what he is currently doing to drum up interest in a pathetic franchise! Look, if the harshest punishment is community service, I want to see them cleaning out the stalls at their own ballpark after a doubleheader or picking up trash on the side of the road. Speaking to kids and glorifying baseball while harping on the dangers of roids is absolutely disingenuous, Peter. It's what got you where you are today.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Jeff Novitzky Changes Teams; Jose Canseco Gets Grilled for 3 Hours

Another great day to be a fan of beef roids. You have Jose Canseco ratting out guys to the feds and Jeff Novitzky moving over from the IRS to the FDA's Office of Criminal Investigations. The only next logical step in Mr. Novitzky's career path would be the ultimate culmination in tracking down 'roiders with a stint at the DEA.

Regarding Canseco, I have not read his latest book, Vindicated, but apparently he vowed that his source "Max" would have his back regarding the juiciest accusations he levied. The allegation on A-Rod, or as Jose would like us to believe, A-Roid.

"Max", in the real world, is known as Joseph Dion and did not have Jose's back regarding the claims against the alleged A-Roid. "A-Rod, at the time I trained him," Dion said, "was 100 percent against steroids."

Jose, the feds are up in the count 0-2. Now is not the time to try and crush one out the park. Make sure everything you tell the feds is the truth or you will be fighting for who gets the pillow when you join Marion Jones in the hole.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

World's Fastest Man - Code For...

With the Olympics approaching, I'm going to let the novice and casual track fan in on a secret. The title, World's Fastest Man, is code for roid head. Do not take the bait and think for one second that you are seeing a natural performer becoming the fastest human. He's hopped up on PED's.

According to this past Sunday's NYT, Maurice Green, a former WFM, wired $10K to a relative of Angel Guillermo Heredia, the lead cooperating witness against Trevor Graham. Mr. Heredia also had two sets of blood test lab reports with Greene's name on it. It's ironic that Mr. Graham was the one who blew the doors off Balco by sending a syringe with a designer steroid to the feds now finds himself facing jail time for lying to federal officers.

Maurice, this does not look good. Neither does the fact that you are a goodwill ambassador for the sport of track and field. Do us all a favor and step down immediately. Until we acknowledge that the WFM really represents who is working with the best scientist, then I'm not going to pay any attention to these shenanigans.

Which country has the best chemist, who created the better, undetectable PED's leads to the World's Fastest Man, nothing else.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Clemens v. McNamee

The defamation case Roger Clemens is bringing up against former trainer Brian McNamee is starting to heat up. Before it can begin, McNamee's attorney, Richard Emery, is pursuing a motion that Clemens' attorney, Rusty Hardin, be disqualified from acting on behalf of Clemens in the case.

The reason given: Hardin represented Andy Pettitte before the release of the Mitchell Report last December. Per the NYT, Emery argued in his motion that Hardin had an ethical commitment to Pettitte as his former lawyer and thus could not cross-examine him on Clemens’s behalf. Emery went on to say Hardin has already violated his lawyer-client compact with Pettitte by “vilifying Pettitte in the press.”

Memo to Rusty Hardin: stay down. Let's not begin to comment on legal strategy in this matter. Rusty, you threatened a federal agent and were admonished by Congress when you said your client would have the agent's lunch if he attended the Congressional hearing in February. Do you, your client and everybody else a favor, drop the tough Texan act and button least for a couple weeks.

Monday, April 7, 2008

First Balco Conviction Ends in Fiasco

“Look me in the eye and tell me you meant what you did,” is what the cyclist, Tammy Thomas, said to the members of the jury once they were dismissed after being found guilty of making false statements under oath to a federal grand jury about using performance-enhancing drugs this past Friday.

Tammy, they meant it. You lied, you need to now do the time. The jury will also look you in the eye provided your face isn't covered in shaving cream. It got out that you allegedly opened the door with half your face full of shaving cream, one of the nasty side effects of 'roiding up for women.

Tammy, stop ‘roiding up; stop lying and put the shaving cream and razor down. Marion Jones wants to let you know that she has dibs on the bottom bunk.